Howdy, there. Betcha wonderin’ what on earth and in Heaven’s name inspired the above aforementioned title that graces this seemingly harmless blog of mine.
Well, sir (or madame as it may or may not be) this here’s an interesting look into what could otherwise be mistaken for yer regular introspective look at an ordinary suburb of Long Island.
It might occur to most who live in these parts, yes, the Town Of Oyster Bay hamlet sandwiched between the town of Seaford and Amityville (and or the incorporated village of Massapequa Park where most honorable and respectable people care not to dwell LOL) is the celebrated town of Massapequa.
Home to countless celebrities, including my brother, Ron Kovic, famous author of “Born On The Fourth Of July”, Alec Baldwin and Jack Kovic (my other famous brother whose fame encompasses the entire West Coast for his esteemed musical writing and performing talents, Massapequa, made famous by Oliver Stones’ motion picture of the same title, is now the most sought after place in the world, according to “World Travel Magazine” to live in, work in and “Be In”. Your children will always be assured a world class education within the Massapequa School District and you will always find the finest restaurants along its thoroughfares…..Bar None.
But, that’s not nearly what this is all about.
Massapequa Is The Epitome Of……Southern Hospitality.
Southern Hospitality, you ask with a confused look on your face. You scratch your head and know for sure that the term Southern Hospitality is clearly, according to Websters Dictionary on page 312, second paragraph on the left, “….a cultural milieu, attributed to those states south of what is known as the Mason Dixon line and which constitutes a ‘gentile and respectable attitude’ developed over several generations based upon the influences of the French Aristocracy going as far back as General Lafayette, who during the waning days of the Revolutionary War decided not to return to his native France and settle in what is now, Charlotte, North Carolina.”
How in the name of Jean Le’foot could this term have anything close to even a remote association with The Town Of Massapequa?
Well, that is what this particular post is all about. So, if you will allow me, I will continue to gently but absolutely persuade you of this very simple argument.
JOIN ME NOW AS WE VISIT A FEW FREQUENTED PROPRIETORS OF MOST MASSAPEQUANS:
“Hey, buddy, ya gonna park yer car in that spot,” the noticeably agitated 7-11 customer blurted out with his car window open at the popular convenient store location just near the corner of Broadway and Jerusalem Avenue. “or is this some sort of a car show?”
“Excuse me, sir,” The slim, seemingly well attired gentleman from out of town said as he gently tapped the shoulder of Gus Stephenopoulos, the owner of the Massapequa Diner. “I’d rather not wait on line if I could have a seat at the counter over the…”
“What, do you think you’re something special, mista,” An elderly but rather crass woman who could benefit from cutting down on her tobacco intake, especially in her drug induced depression-laden state. “Why don’t you sit down here and wait for a seat like all of the other human beings around here.”
Whoooooosh, went the 2012 Fiat down Toronto avenue heading for Parkside Blvd so fast that it could have made an ambulance driver car sick. “Gosh darnit,” Bill Bochalini said, a 90 something, and long time resident of this fabled street, as he almost stepped out of his driveway onto the street to the Grim Reapers delight. “Jim,” He looked over at James Kilpatrick, his long time neighbor who lives across the street. “Did you get the license plate of that car?
“No, I didn’t, Bill.” He replied. “Why do they have…..”
“No, not that.” Bill tried to explain. “I just wanna find out where I can get a revved up foreign car like that.”
Yes, these are but a few examples of the kind of interesting and unequaled experiences which fellow Massapequans commonly share and love to talk about. This is what it’s about. This is what residents, as oddly as it sounds, expect and what keeps em’ coming back for more.
THIS IS SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY IN MASSAPEQUA
And given the millions in resident there, the producers of Hemingwaydepot invite all of you to illustratively and honestly comment on this new series of articles…………………