All posts by nessyphia

My Core Values

The following is something I wrote in my journal back in 1995 when I was struggling to formulate my own spiritual path. It was a very difficult period in my life when I had become disenchanted with what I believed back then and what was really important in my life. I hope it helps you in whatever way it can.


By nature, I’m an existentialist in the sense that I can make no excuses in my life. There is value in my life; I have abilities. If I reach down deep I will find the answers and the guidance I need to see it through. When I think this way it’s easier to think of God as a personal God, existing in me trying to be realized through our combined effort as one of zillions of individual truth bodies that He created in the Universe. I’m one more tickle in God’s heart because He has never, till this day, seen one such as me and I alone can give to Him inexhaustible joy through being who I am.

This “I”, historically and personally in me, must be discovered thoroughly and highly developed because its great to get advise from other people but not at the expense of the internal guidance, individuality, the integrity and virtue that is within every individual. It is then and only then that you can receive information from others because then you have beliefs, values, integrity, passionate beliefs upon which to criticize what comes in.

That is why I’m so passionate about this aspect of me. It says, “I know I can do it. What is it about me that I can draw from, to fix this?” Ask first within yourself, then and only then go for help from others who may know. Then you have been sincere. Then people know that “Hey, this guy isn’t just trying to leach off information from me. He’s already tried to find out. He’s even got some pretty good clues. I just may have the missing piece but he’s done most of the work.

This in addition should prevent people from black mailing you thinking, “Oh man, this guy’s looking for a free ride but I like it; he depends upon me. That’s a nice commodity to trade with. I’m going to milk this opportunity for all it’s worth.” See, then people find a way to screw you. It’s a part of human (fallen) nature. So figure it out or try to on our own but if you can’t, get some help from a brain team like Napoleon Hill talks about or people who do know and really appreciate them for it. But doing that because you’re lazy and don’t want to figure it out for yourself is really harmful to your own integrity.

So, I’m an existentialist, a firm believer in the sacred “I” or “me” or whatever. There is so much about me that is holy, God-like and totally profound and its in everyone. You don’t need to believe in God. (don’t take me literally on this, I’m just trying to make a point) Who are you and what are you doing that’s valuable? I’m not going to impress you about some god out there and all his “magical powers”. That’s a waste of my time cause’ I already know how you’ll react to that. Forget about God for now. How do you value yourself and what are you doing to benefit yourself and others around you? You’re a walking miracle with all the profound things going on inside your body at this very moment. That happened before they ever tried to blow some god up your ass and get you to be religious. You’re already religious. Look what going on inside of you. If you don’t know then take an anatomy class. I guarantee that you’ll come away from that changed. That’s if you’re sensitive and who among us in this politically correct society of ours isn’t? You can’t deny the beauty inside your body. You’re magnificent!

But enough with the superficial pleasantries. You must first of all and foremost realize your definitive value as a human being and never sell it to some company, group, organization, Anybody! That doesn’t mean don’t get a job or don’t get involved or get married to somebody. Consider yourself sacred and valuable cause’ you are.

Join a religious organization or get married, whatever. Fine. But don’t ever do it to get something because when you do you’ve already lost. Do it to contribute, to give, to add something. Add what? You, that’s who. You know who you are. Give them YOU. YOU is something they’ve never saw before. You, my friend, are the only one that possesses it. Oh, it may be awkward or look funny or not be so polished. So what. Give it to them anyway. Give them the RAW YOU. Get it out there and then begin sculpturing it and round off the edges. But you better make sure it’s the real YOU and not some fake phony or fraud.  Don’t take it from a fashion magazine or teen rag. Look in yourself. Take an hour a day and sit alone by yourself. I know it’s not easy but if you miss this chance then you get confused trying to always please someone whether it be your parents, spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. The world’s tough enough as it is to be trying to figure out what you’re trying to prove through these tedious mind games. So don’t play em’. Be yourself and if other people don’t like it tell em’ to kiss off. Well, you can be more discrete than that but you know what I mean.


Happy Birthday To My Daughter Yumi

This is an open birthday card for my Daughter, Yumi Kovic. Her Birthday is celebrated today 24 years following her birth on December 12, 1991. I am proud to share with you all of the joy that I feel for my eldest daughter. (Grace, [my other daughter] don’t be jealous, honey. I’ve got some stories about your birth to tell everyone about on your next birthday next year. Be patient.)


Happy Birthday, honey. I’ll never forget the first time I set eyes on you. I hope you aren’t tired hearing this story but on the day you were born a big snow storm was on its way to Kingston, NY where you and your mother were living at the time. She was 2 weeks overdue and very concerned. We went to the hospital. The nurses did a sonogram  and moments later your heart rate plummeted.

Code blue went out; immediately Mommy was rushed out of the room where they were examining her and taken into the operating room where they performed a C-section to save your life. Mommy and I had taken the La-Maz classes for a few weeks and I was ready to be her coach all the way through. Things happened so fast that I was left breathless. A lot of good those breathing exercises did.

All hell broke loose but one of the nurses took me, a dazed father-to-be, by the hand to be by your mother’s side in the operating room. I saw you come out but all I could do was watch at the foot of the operating table. Then, for some stupid reason I was told I had to leave by some bossy nurse to whom I pleaded to stay so that I could hold you in my arms after being cleaned up. She just said “There’s the door, Mr. Kovic; just go!”

So, reluctantly I went out into the hall where I waited, pissed off but I waited patiently while I thumbed through some old National Geographic magazine with the cover story about “The Wonders Of A Human Birth”. I shoved the magazine into the trashcan nearby.

Then, through the double doors came a nurse all gowned up carrying something in her arms. She asked of me, “Are you Mr. Kovic?”  “Yes,” I said with a surprised look on my face. “Congratulations, Mr. Kovic, this is your daughter……?”  A quizzical look came upon her face due to the fact that there was no name on her wrist bracelet. “We haven’t named her yet.”

Mommy and I were still in the midst of deciding on your name, Yumi, but we hadn’t finalized it yet and this all happened so fast. But she placed you in my arms as I beheld the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life, YOU. I was filled with unimaginable joy as I looked at you and checked to see if everything was all right. You were more than “all right”. You are perfect.

There are so many other stories to tell you, darling and I will. You added an extra-special dimension to enrich the lives of your mother and me. It was challenging at times given the events that were going on at the time and you kept both of us up on those long nights and there were so many episodes of Barney that I watched with you until I learned to love that lovable plump dumb-sounding dinosaur and Baby Bop but I wouldn’t ever trade any of that for the world.

I love you so much, Yumi and I will always be here for you if you need me. You name it and I’ll move mountains to help you, honey. Happy 24th birthday.

The Real Force Awakens

I did my first experiment today to see if this thing that the quantum physicists call Dark Energy, or what the New Age community terms the Universal Calibration Lattice really works. You all recognize this odd yet interesting phenomena as 6 degrees of separation or “it’s not an accident or a co-incidence…it’s meant to be” or The Force (Yep, can’t wait for the new Star Wars film…oh boy!).
So, I was driving home from where I work at Trader Joes. In front of me is another driver going the speed limit in the passing lane. I signal with my headlights for them to turn over into the right lane. They, of course don’t. So, I tried something novel. “I will,” I said to myself. “while focusing on my solar plexus (area where the belly button is) I pretend to signal my brights while having the intention to request the driver to move over and let me pass.” So, I did this, waiting 10 seconds and then the driver began to speed up a bit and after passing a few cars on the right turned into the right lane so that I could pass by.
This does not prove anything. I will never be able to empirically prove that my thoughts influenced this person to behave as they did and let me pass. However, If I did this successfully about perhaps 1000 times consistently then you could say that there was a certain percentage of probability that this could possibly occur.
One thing I would like to point out is that from what I’ve heard–and I know nothing about physics or quantum physics for that matter–Quantum Physics is getting closer and closer to possibly coming up with a theory or perhaps a law with which to define what Dark Energy or this so called Universal Calibration Lattice (termed by Ms. Peggy Dubro in “Elegant Empowerment” (2002 Platinum Publishing House) is and then perhaps define for us the way in which it actually works so that we can make use of it. To do so would literally revolutionize our world with results we have never ever seen before since anything we can imagine that we have discovered or created.
I’ll let you know how my next 999 attempts at this go. For now…Question Everything and Be Skeptical but be open to knowledge for knowledge, not hope or faith is what we need to create the world of peace we all desire.
Thank You.

Our Gods Are Our Descendants



Given the extensive research and finds of Zechariah Sitchin, from the outset, if you accept the premise of the voluminous writings of this author, it would seem as if there is a possibility, based upon this research that our gods are none other than the ancient astronauts of our ancient past.

However, could we view this a different way? What if these ancient astronauts are not necessarily from our past but from our future? More specifically, could the Nefilim or Annunaki (those who from the sky came down) be our future descendants?

So, since we have been asked by Mr. Sitchin through his 9 plus books to entertain these controversial yet logically worked out circumstantial evidence, why not, while we’re in the mood for really interesting yet kind of far out things to think about, entertain the possibility that these gods came from our distant future.

Could we be The Annunaki not necessarily, in the way that Sitchin seems to propose, but because we will be the ones giving birth to them?

I have read, at this writing, the first four books from “The Earth Chronicles” series and up until now I have maintained my belief that the Annunaki or Nefilim originated from this rogue elliptically orbiting planet, Nibiru, when they left it approximately 500,000 years ago, are from our past. Why am I now considering that they, who Sitchin contends fathered our race, could be our descendants whom we shall father?

Sorry…weird, I know. Please suspend for the moment all you happen to believe in the grandfather paradox and bear with me while I present to you this argument. And bear with me those of you who aren’t familiar with Sitchin or his writings. However, if you are the least bit curious about our origins as The Human Species this would be a great place and opportunity to begin to whet your appetite.

The reason I am reconsidering the time from which the Annunaki might have originated from when they came to extract gold to repair their depleted atmosphere is based upon a politically-based conversation with my future father-in-law concerning the current front runner, Donald Trump, who is running for president in 2016. I asked him a troubling but equally curious question concerning whether or not we should be overly concerned with a personality such as Trump who is coming on the scene with promises to save America from the seemingly inevitable implosion it is facing because of, among so many issues going on, its fading strength of purpose as a world power.

I asked him whether or not we should be concerned about electing a president such as Trump who could possibly, like Obama did with a liberal slant, initiate a temporary freeze on American Liberty in order to present a more permanent solution to the threat of terrorism from Isis or boost ourselves economically by getting tough with our trading partners throughout the world (including China) or any number of other approaches that might resolve our present national dilemmas.

His response was an emphatic No. With him we could solve most of America’s present problems. What would be best for this country would be a Benevolent Dictator.

I couldn’t believe my ears when he said this. But, this doesn’t surprise me as there are many Americans out there who would entertain the same seeming fitting but short-term and possibly dangerous resolution.

And hearing him say this got me to thinking more about this in a different way. Could this be the fate of America? Surely, the events going on now are reminiscent if we think back historically, of what happened just prior to Rome being sacked by the Visigoths (ancient German tribes prior to their coalition centuries later as the Germany which eventually developed into the one we are familiar with. And surely, we as Americans, whether this fear of repeating ancient mistakes of our Western Civilization enters our consciousness or not, we do not want to repeat such a tragic mistake as what occurred during the fall of the Roman Empire even though the advantage of that gave birth to the political birth of Christianity. So, conscious of this or not we naturally and instinctively will fight to maintain our way of life even if there is more going on spiritually and historically than we can right now imagine.

But, what if Trump wins and he, after turning from the lectern from which the present supreme court justice anoints him as the 45th President, immediately begins implementing his campaign promises to the heart-felt relief of those who supported him? What if prior to his first 90 days in office he spearheads a very successful post-inaugural campaign to persuade The American People and congress of the implementation of his ideas to resolve everything? What if at  his first State of the Union address in January 2017 he, is thoroughly applauded with mostly standing ovations on both sides of the aisle for what he’s accomplished giving him the feedback he needs to begin his next phase of his presidency? What if, after three years there are still a lot of serious problems festering in this country and the world irrelevant in importance of course to the big issues he’s already triumphed over that still need his attention but can’t be addressed without a very bold move?

What if after a predictive landslide victory for his second term he unprecedentedly announces a major change in The United States Constitution that would temporarily change the powers of the presidency and the balance of power that we have all become accustomed to that define our grand political system that began with the American Revolutionary War?

What if that very bold change in the Constitution, seemingly benign at first and of course expediently amended from The Constitution after the allotted period with which it was originally implemented with, what if that, as all amendments do, take their rightful place in that grand document but remains, just the same, as a precedent for future political changes to be taken by presidential administrations during much different circumstances?

The year is 2516 and America and the world is a radically different place than it was 500 years before. All of the improvements which science fiction predicted in all of the books ever written prior to the ancient election of 2016 have already come to light and are old hat by now. What’s not old hat but a rather novel idea in the mind of the lawyer who is assisting the present occupier of The Whitehouse is a curious 15th amendment added to the Constitution back in 2020 which gave the president extended powers. But, the problems affecting the country nowadays are nothing to the threats which Isis troubled the world with because now the threat comes from one of our neighboring races on a planet in the Alpha Centuri system over a property squabble has to do with an outer-lying sector of our solar system which we gave to the Racpenese People to settle a mining dispute back in 2103 that could have led to an all out war with such a technologically advanced people if it weren’t for the fact that the Copansxch People, allies of ours (who are actually distant cousins of the Nefilim, unknown to us at the time) The problem as it is now is that the Racpenese found a loophole in that old contract which allows them to still own and mine the Kyper belt in our system, an area that we weren’t so concerned with in the 22nd century but sure as hell need in the 26th.

Nevertheless, in exchange for their help as we were at that time very familiar with the negotiating nature of our dear friends, they asked that we could settle the planet Nibiru, a rogue planet which, as it entered our solar system every 3600 years it also, in the same time interval, visited—with all of its gravitational splendor—they needed to be mined for its almost unlimited supply of Di-lithium Crystals. They, being a race of pleasant, peaceful but highly administrative types, did not want to engage in this type of slave labor. Therefore they had the humans do it for them until a contract of 100 years passed at which time we as indentured servants would own the planet outright.

And we, in the year 2203 celebrate the end of that contract that the Copansxch and us celebrated together and following the completion of the transforming of that planet into an Earth-like planet better than our own in 2250 Nibiru was, for lack of a better name Earth II, the first step in the first inhabited planet for the Human Species.


But the story doesn’t end there, but it will for now until Chapter 2 in my next posting of this article.

Take Back Your Power From Your Political Leaders

As you will see very soon, this is a reprint of the post you see below which you will be redirected to very shortly. I did this mainly because this, being the great article that it is, deserved to be printed in the editorial page of the New York Times but for now will dwell on my blog. And there it is for you to alternately read in its literary glory.  Thank you in advance for your kind appreciation.

The main reason why there are no rational solutions being presented for resolving the problem of Isis is that we depend so much on seeking out information from the news media in order to formulate our understanding of the matters at hand. All of the television, radio and internet sources for news are tainting their information with their own political slant. Grant it, how else are we going to find out about what’s going on? No one has the time to do the amount of reading and research it would take in order to compete with the seeming quality of news we can get through an hour of watching the news. But, we are surely impinging upon our quality of knowledge and wearing away the important element of common sense which we all cherish if we continue to rely solely upon dubious sources of information. But one thing is certain here and this may help you to ever so slightly turn your gaze away from the television and your favorite news commentators. There is nothing new going on here. Let that sink in a little bit. THERE IS NOTHING NEW GOING ON OR BEING SAID HERE. This is not really a difficult problem to solve if we calm ourselves down, quiet our minds and give ourselves room to allow our own intuition and feelings to come forth and be expressed. And when we all….each and every one of us, center ourselves and seek within ourselves, where the God Who created us really resides, the answer to this grave and seemingly confounding problem will reveal itself to us. Please, I beseech you my brothers and sisters….take back the power that is yours from your confused political leaders who are, right before our eyes, failing to lead our country. They, though seemingly acting with good intentions, are leading us astray. We must not judge them or brand them with labels or make fun of them with names. They are us and we are all connected. But, they will continue to act foolishly unless we refuse to allow them to. Perhaps it is not as important for us to be thinking about who we want to elect for president as it is to clearly decide who really should be in power here. Our leaders or We The People.

The Rain-Soaked Beleaguering Thought

Cast away in the forgotten potful of moguls

is the instantaneous forget-me-not of the beleaguered fault

fought in many theaters

sown in many gardens

Collected in all of the conceivable

blasphemous portholes of pitiful pooh

is the injunction of society’s forgotten wistful of thought.


Sitting at the top of the ladder

blaming anyone but itself

calling for vengeance and still hoping for none

is the outrageous eagerly awaited omnipotent self


Deeply in it’s dungeon

seeking for release

sought after for its malicious wealth

is the seething suture of society’s pitfalls of flying ogres.


They never knew what hit them

they walked a thousand miles

They sat stunned while it rained upon them

and neither of them flinched an eye or

batted a wink or slept until the sun dried

the wishful thinking of their thoughts.


No, it never occurred to them at all

how the incantations followed

or how the rusted wood piled upon it still

and no one gives a shit.


But I know what happened.

I called them up and there was no reply.

It all seemed to matter not for any of the

inconspicuous thinking they did not avail themselves of.

Kleo and Her Silent Meows

What comes out of Kleo’s mouth

when she doesn’t make a sound?


She looks to the left

she looks to the right

and stares incessantly

at the invisible object of wonder.


Now she walks carefully, intently

until she finds a mouse.

And then she bats it around the floor,

hitting it here, hitting it there

knocking it senseless until

it finally gets up and says, “Eat me!”


But, she doesn’t eat it.

She curls up with it and plays with it

until finally the mouse says, “Why are you doing this to me?

I just want to be eaten and swallowed and digested by your

stomach until I’m finally gone.”


But Kleo knows better.

She knows that would give the mouse pleasure.

And neither would any of us do something any different

than what we would really suppose it would mean so much to us.


Endless cadres of fury

Founded by the wind.

Curious cats with tails wagging

and heads of dogs dropping

and kites flying with the piano

fingered fairly in it’s storm-ridden browse.


That was in her mind

the night she decided to let the mouse go.

And out it went but it didn’t know where or

who to fend for.

It walked along the plain

nothing but incessant rain

seeking out what could not be seen

and then throwing up his arms and saying,

“What the Fuck!”